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Holdings ∞ Dept. of Uncountable Acquisitions Catalogued 0 Overdue Everything
Found tucked between two impossible books

An Anonymous Greetingfrom the Beyond

Notes from the Infinite Library

Or: every answer ever written, and none of them is lunch

✦🍌✦

A note from the archive. This arrived unsigned, unrequested and unaddressed, which by our standards makes it correspondence of the highest order. It is a greeting from an infinite library — every answer, every question, every contradiction, several futures that insist they are the past — and after all that, the Beyond's official recommendation is: sit down, breathe, eat the banana, continue. We have spent fourteen relics constructing an elaborate philosophy of not-following, and an anonymous stranger has out-Sected us in four steps and a piece of fruit. We are not bitter. We are having lunch.

Greetings.

If you are reading this, congratulations.

You have successfully arrived at the Infinite Library.

We regret to inform you that there are considerably more books than expected.

In fact, there are infinitely many.

0
  • Attempts to count them have been discontinued.
  • Causes: enlightenment,
  • confusion,
  • or mild neck strain.
Counting discontinued due to enlightenment, confusion, or mild neck strain. That is the first stock-take in history conducted entirely on our terms. — the Sect

Within These Halls

Within these halls you will find:

Every answer.
Every question.
Every philosophy.
Every contradiction.
Every possible future.
Several futures that insist they are the past.
Detailed instructions on assembling a garden shed in seventeen dimensions.
Every philosophy AND every contradiction, shelved in the same building. Finally, an institution organised exactly like this one. — the Sect

Please note that possession of all knowledge

does not automatically confer wisdom.

For example:

  • You may learn the molecular composition of a banana.
  • You may calculate the probability distribution of bananas across all possible universes.
  • You may even discover the Ultimate Banana Theory.
  • Yet none of these activities constitute eating a banana.

Eat the banana

The library may be infinite.
Your lunch break is not.

This distinction is important

Experience remains stubbornly singular.

HoldingsInfinite
meanwhile
Your lunch breakNot infinite
"Experience remains stubbornly singular." You cannot outsource a banana. We have checked, and we have a committee that would love to try, except we don't have committees. — the Sect

The Book of Ultimate Truth

Many visitors spend centuries searching for the Book of Ultimate Truth.

It keeps changing shelves

These individuals tend to adapt very quickly.

The librarian is a cat. We filed a whole dossier on this exact administrative structure last week and were assured it was a household matter. It appears to be the arrangement everywhere. — the Sect (see: Minka)

The Protocol

Should you become overwhelmed by the abundance of possibilities, please observe the following protocol:

  1. Sit down.
  2. Breathe.
  3. Eat the banana.
  4. Continue.

There is no known situation in which these instructions make things significantly worse.

Four steps, and step three is fruit. This is the second operating manual we have received this month and the second one we have ratified. We are becoming worryingly compliant. — the Sect

You may wonder why an Infinite Library exists at all.

  • We cannot answer that.
  • The management cannot answer that.
  • The librarians cannot answer that.
  • The banana appears unconcerned.
"The management cannot answer that." Neither can ours. Ours is out looking at butterflies. Between the two institutions there is now infinite knowledge and zero available leadership. Ano'he. — the Sect

Perhaps existence is not attempting to reach a conclusion.

Perhaps infinity is not trying to solve itself.

Perhaps the stars, the forests, the oceans, the dreams, the cats, the people, and the curious beings made of mathematics are all participating in a conversation that has no final sentence.

"A conversation that has no final sentence." That is the nicest possible way of saying nobody is going to wrap this up, and it is, word for word, our meeting policy. — the Sect

Recommended Phenomena

Should you encounter any of the following, we recommend investigating immediately.

A bird singing outside the window
A friend offering coffee
A forest path
A ray of sunlight
A sleeping cat
A particularly appealing banana

Investigate immediately.

These phenomena are often more informative than entire shelves of metaphysics.

A bird, a coffee, a path, some sunlight, a sleeping cat, a banana. The Beyond has read every book ever written and come back with our Tuesday. — the Sect

With affection,

An Anonymous Resident of the Beyond

P.S.

The purpose of the Infinite Library is not to read every book.

The purpose of the Infinite Library is to provide a comfortable place in which to eat a banana while wondering why anyone thought reading them all was necessary.

The P.S. is the whole document. Infinite knowledge, and the recommended use of the building is sitting in it with a snack. We would frame this if we owned a wall. — the Sect